dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Randomize
