Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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