remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
