I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
