i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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