You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
