a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
