So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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