I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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