I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
