There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
