I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
