In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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