So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
