what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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