I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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