Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
