Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
