I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
