If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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