so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
and you fell through a lawn chair
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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