her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
