would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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