I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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