drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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