i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
