thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
