i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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