i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
