Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
