hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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