where am i from again
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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