Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
