Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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