Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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