don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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