i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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