The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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