I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
