Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
