Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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