SEEEEXXX PLEASE
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
