Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Randomize
