Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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