I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
