my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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