her vagine was all disorganized.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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