Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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