before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
