nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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