she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
