This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
